We started the morning back tracking a section of highway. The temperatures were good in relation to our gear level and the winds were manageable.  As we pushed north the winds and all sounds just seemed to stop. It was odd, there we are cruising at highway speed and suddenly all sounds just disappeared and there was no longer the feeling of wind against your face. After a few seconds of this limbo, I check in with Swampkat and he’s getting the same experience. It was a pretty interesting effect. We think it was causes by wind moving with our direction of travel and at about the same speed. Once again, we’re not scientologists so how would we know.
We excited the highway and were immediately blasted by the south to north wind. There were some moments of respite here and there, but the wind was with us the rest of the time. A little rain near the end of the day and a surprising drop in temperature. Lemme tell you,  I will not be skipping the long johns tomorrow.
We road through beautifully eroded canyons and across the backbone of this ridge that must have had a 1/4 mile drop off on either side. The wind did not make that a particularly relaxing moment.
Due to the wind we’re beat-up, but in good shape. One gripe we have that occurred today and also on the TransAm, once the trip meters reach the time 99.59 minutes the trip mileage just stops counting up. It breaks your brain when you look down, do the math, figure out how long till your next town,  ride for a bit, look down and wonder why the mileage looks the same. I rode the longest 25 miles of my life before we figured out what was going on. So, to the lazy Triumph people who thought this was an acceptable idea, f*ck you all. Now I have to math. Total mileage 4880.

The wind is too strong to continue on our current path. We are sheltering here instead of riding the opposite direction which would put us further out of range of places we want to ride.
We are in a good spot and will have some good stuff for you all tomorrow.

Today we went to the the Grand Canyon’s north rim. Spoiler alert, it’s a big hole. Exactly as we did crater lake, enter the park, get stuck behind tourons, get to the hole, take 2 pictures, and leave immediately.
The highlight of the day was the 40 miles on the way out of the park. There were only 2 cars the entire way and the road was freshly paved.
Today was long, real long. We were hit by a lot of wind and high temperatures. We are both exhausted.
The terrain was probably pretty awesome, but you don’t give a shit when you’re mentally where we are.
We may be stuck here tomorrow, apparently the wind is going to be crazy. We’ll judge that tomorrow.

Today started with big blue skies filled with big puffy clouds. The temperature was perfect for our gear level. It’s pretty tough to tell how the road is going to feel during the load up part of the morning. You typically feel over dressed, because while loading your body temperature goes up. For example no matter the temperature, my sun glasses fog if I put them directly against my face before I start moving.
So with a clear forecast we head to Zion national park.
On the way there the scenery was amazing. It’s something you need to see with your own eyes to truly appreciate. Think about the old school Coyote and Roadrunner cartoons, it was miles of awesome like that today. Once we got close to Zion a shift in the force was obvious. There they were, massed humanity. Oh no. Urge to kill rising!  We sat in a line of cars for probably 20+ minutes. Our cold weather gear betrayed us and soon sweat was everywhere. Once through, we geared down and headed in. Robots grouped up everywhere, thinking of only themselves and the horde they are closest to. They drive way below the speed limit, stop in the road instead of pull outs, or attempting to pass when there isn’t any possible way. The scenery, absolutely beautiful…when you could safely pay attention to it. At one point we were stopped waiting to be allowed to drive through a tunnel, it was the hottest it’s been on the Funcut, and Swampkat says, “This sucks.”  I completely agreed. Being surrounded by all those people and not being able to enjoy the road is aweful. (Not as bad as work, but close) The tunnel was cool, but again, the humans. What do we have to do to get a rapture up in here?
Leaving the park and heading into Navajo territory we rode through beautiful scenery and got hit with a little rain here and there. I saw clouds that were the huge puffy type, but their undersides were a reddish pink. It was awesome. Though the terrain is beautiful, it is not fertile. Once again we found ourselves cursing the people who were responsible for relocating a tribe. How selfish they were/are.
We are currently staying deep in the Navajo territory tonight and will push to the north rim of the Grand Canyon tomorrow.
Before coming here we did some research on this area and one of the things they said was be ready to see dead animals on the side of the road. We saw 1. What’s funny, well not actually funny, is in Utah I don’t think there’s anyone in charge of removing road kills. The were everywhere! I’ve never seen that many ever. From mummified deer and calves, full size dear, birds, little unidentifiable fuzzy stains, to at worst (sorry) skin and hair smashed flat into the road and raw chucks of flesh smashed and spread across the road. It was graphic and not something forgettable. Like I said sorry. I’ve given a lot of shit to Utah, but it was a great place outside of salt lake city. I want to mention how well their drivers are on the freeways. They use signals, pass well, and just seemed more aware of their surroundings. We were watching TV while in Utah and saw a commercial that seemed out of place or out of time at least. It was a click it or ticket commercial. It was typically a family trying to convince the man in the car to wear their seat belt. Low budget and lame, what actual caught my eye was when the commercial said, Enforcement starts now. I was like wait, now? It’s 2016, what the hell? That explains why cell phones were everywhere on the road. Apparently it’s 1995 in Utah.
Now, time to see what Tuba, Arizona had to offer, see you guys around.

Today started innocently enough. We knew we’d be dealing with rain no matter what, so we had multiple escape routes planned and if all else failed we’d head to the freeway.
We began the day with a fill up and headed past the theater and immediately into the mountains. Good roads greeted us and we seemed to be getting really lucky weatherwise. The clouds looked ominous but the road just seemed to skirt their edges. Before lunch we had probably been rained on about 3 times, but nothing too worry about. The rain would stop and scenery just kept getting better and better. We saw painted hills just like we did in Oregon, but a whole lot more. We laughed, in Oregon we had to seek them out and in Utah they are in people’s fields. We rode passed giant eroded red cliffs and actually rode through 2 tunnels that were cut into the rock. It was really cool. We had a few random animal encounters, cows in the road, a farmers dog chased me, a big flock of birds, and a peacock in the middle of the street.
Since it’s been raining here the usually dry gullies have chocolate milk colored water rushing through them. We saw streams slightly swollen, you couldn’t see their banks but instead their edges just kind of disappeared into the ground cover.
Towards the end of the day we were crossing over a 10,000 ft pass. Rain was scheduled, no big deal right?  Wrong. Around 7,000 feet I noticed the rain wasn’t running down my visor,  but instead bouncing off. Oh hail nah! It was hail mixed with smaller sleet. Higher we went. Now it’s snowing and not a little. Small hail and sleet are no big deal because they bounce, snow sticks to your visor. Visibility is shit and we still aren’t at the summit. Constant wiping of the snow has soaked our left glove hand and is getting really cold. Snow would occasionally freeze to our visors too. We reached the highest point, the snow was much worse.  Yeah we could turn back, but now we’re dead center on the mountain crossing. We push on, slowly, and pass closed ski resorts and dump trucks heading uphill to sand the roads, I assume. The roads will be really bad tonight. Our windscreens had accumulated enough snow that they were no longer transparent. This wasn’t our first time riding in snow, but it was the longest, the most snow, and the most technical roads we’ve riden in the snow. As we descended, snow turned to sleet, relief was close at at hand. Soon rain, then blue skies! It was probably in the 50s or 60s buy to us it felt so good. I wonder what the random people who were going the opposite way thought when two motorcycles appeared out of the snow in front of them.
Epic day. We are exhausted and looking forward to some down time and grown up beers.

I figured besides wanting to make sure we were alive the next thing you’d want to know is, How is that near beer? We gave it an honest shot and both were disappointed. It’s not that it doesn’t work per say, but the feeling of intoxication and joy must be constantly tended to. Meaning if you are not actively drinking you are rapidly becoming sober. I don’t know about you but I drink to get drunk, near beer feels more life chasing the dragon. So when in Utah, plan ahead and hit the government distributors. Not to bash it completely, I could see drinking this.. Nevermind I can’t. I guess if you wanna pay about the same for less and don’t want to be that asshole parent at your kid’s baseball game this is what you should drink.
On to the day.  We did our best and failed to stay dry today. Early this morning we did about 13 miles of gravel roads. They were pretty innocent enough only a little mud here and there, and a few hair pins covered in loose rock. Nothing we can’t handle. We were treated to some really beautiful scenery, again I was reminded of Alaska by the size of the mountains and the way the clouds do their thing around them.
We rode through a few small towns after the gravel road into a place called Paradise Valley. Paradise is a bit of a stretch but it was a really nice area.
Then we hit the highway to make our way through Salt Lake City. Holy moly do they drive like shit. People passing us at highway speeds texting, their lane changes we sudden, and their overall speed was whatever they felt like. At one point I said to Kat,  “I’m uncomfortable”  he agreed. We’ve both seen how bad the bay area can be, but this was a different monster. In the bay area if there is a slight bend in the highway or something remotely interesting on the side of the road, you won’t know it till 30 minutes from now because they basically stop. Here it was the opposite, speed up in turns, hey is that an emergency vehicle?  Who cares! We were glad once that was over. Some advice to others, if your on a bike skip the city if you want to live. In a car, at least you’ll survive but I’d skip it anyway.
We saw the “great” salt lake. We tried to figure out what makes it Great and came up with nothing. From here on out will be the big salt lake.
As we left town the rain started. We were heading towards our first National scenic byway but the rain picked up and the road was out. We turned back and headed for highway, we’ve got a movie to make. The rain got worse but the drivers got better. Wet and more tired than I expected we made it to Nephi.

Say it like Will Ferrell, as Robert Goulet.

((send a picture of your drawing to any of the 3 morons. WordPress sucks for this kind of thing))

Well here we are, another day where flexibility counts. Using a combination of weather apps My Radar, Weather Underground (which I’m still having a hard time accepting with it’s stolen name),  and Accuweather we made the best plans we could to avoid the massive weather system that is sitting above us. When I say avoid I really mean get hammered by it as little as possible. We decided to head south and are currently in Utah. It rained about half of the ride today with some light rain in between the real showers. The landscape was pretty but hard to really focus on due to conditions. When it wasn’t raining we were treated to some really pretty mountains surrounded by clouds. It was very similar to the way I’ve seen clouds look around mountains in Alaska.
It was a short day, we both need to do laundry and Kat has some work things to take care of.
Last time we were in Utah on The Trans Am, we were warned about the near beer and told that to get the normal stuff you need to go to a liquor store. The state has crazy alcohol control, kind of similar to the bizarre Pennsylvania laws. This time, it’s Sunday, the liquor stores are closed. Sad face, but looking online people say it’s not that bad. We will give you our honest opinion tomorrow on how the 3.2 near beer is. Allegedly it’s actually closer to 4.0, but I’m no scientologist I’ll let you know what drinking it is like.
If we meet someday ask us about the 3 humongously oversized houses that had their own lake. We had a really good laugh, but not everyone would think it was funny.

The day started with a great road that winded through the Sawtooth mountains and Sawtooth wilderness. People were few and far between which was good because the little road we were on butt right up against massive multicolored rock slides. Rocks were constantly in the road and needed to be dodged. Hitting a random rock while on a turn or even in a straight away can be dangerous. We were once again near the Salmon river, but today we passed it’s headwaters. It was really cool to see where this massive river which has been with us for so many days starts.
My most unexpected moment came when due to rocks in the road I made a corner going pretty slow and noticed what I thought was smoke coming directly out of the rock slide next to me. Prior to seeing this ‘smoke’ I noticed that this particular valley smelt like an out house. Every other valley smells wonderful, what the hell is going on in this valley I thought. As I got closer to the ‘smoke’ I noticed ten feet up water was coming directly out of the rocks and running down to the road. The smoke was steam! The sulfur smell was coming from right here. It was awesome!  The steam hugged the rocks all the way to the road from it’s source and a small steam cloud hung over the small pool at road level. This was my first natural hot spring. There was no where to park to get a better look and if I hadn’t have been going so slow I may not have noticed it. I’ve seen a hot spring before in Chena, Alaska but that was just a hot swimming pool, today I was able to see the actual process and I loved it.
After the Sawtooths we headed towards Sun Valley where the Sundance film thing is. It’s a pretty area, I can see why all the rich bastards have summer or winter houses there. Who cares about that stuff though.
Later we rode through the Craters of the Moon national park. It’s a rocky wasteland that couldn’t have been any fun to cross prior to roads being built. We stopped briefly, but some people can’t seem to figure out the fact that some places (most) are better experienced alone. We call it the IRobot syndrome. People can’t do shit without someone else already being there. Here’s simplified example, sit in an empty theater and regardless where you’ve sat people will sit near you. We encounter this behavior a lot on the road. The people today didn’t even get out of their cars, they just parked next to us (when there was plenty of room far away). It makes me crazy.
After the park, Idaho pancaked and the roads were long and straight. We passed Atomic City, it’s where one of the first nuclear power plants was built. I don’t know the details but I believe it’s been offline for a while. It’s ‘complex’ if you wanna call it that consisted of a few small pinkish buildings about a mile off the main road. The sign was the only indication that this was something awesome at one time. It’s kinda sad I guess.
As the pancake stretched out in front of us all you could see was a whole lot of nothing and a couple of long dead volcanoes. Swampkat noticed something else though, Hermes has GPS on it and Kat said, “Have yoy seen all the roads we’ve passed? They are unmarked on the GPS.”  Somebody is hiding something outside of Idaho Falls.
As I wrap this up I wanted to share a joke Swampkat made on the way into Idaho Falls. He says “Idaho Falls, more line Idaho Flats”. We laughed and then I said, watch the ‘falls’ will probably be man made.

Today was a great example of the definition of Funcut. The morning was cold, real cold. The forecast said 38 degrees but on the bike at speed it must have been close to freezing. I had almost every piece of cold weather gear on and my heated grips set to magma level. After only a few miles I could tell my fingers were going to go numb. Pointer fingers, left middle, and both thumbs gone. Reaching up for either the clutch or brake levers I do as little as possible because in the short time it takes shift or brake the hand grips feel like ice when my fingers return to their positions. This went on for about two hours or so.
We found out yesterday from a nice lady at a gas station that Montana’s weather right now is abnormal. Usually the wind comes from a particular direction, but because of a front from Canada the wind and cold are moving in a counter clockwise direction. Because of this we changed or intended route twice today.  Looking at the map vs the weather direction we had a choice, stay in Montana for the rest of the day and freeze tomorrow too or make a tactical withdraw to Idaho. This is where the funcut comes into play.
After lunch the temperatures were slightly better, but we were still at a high enough elevation that once we were moving it was cold. Realize when I say cold I mean uncomfortable, not it’s a little chilly and I want to complain. We change direction for the second time today to escape that Canadian weather and reduce our elevation.  The funcut gods smiled upon us and the rest of the day was epic.
Landscape wise Montana was beautiful, they aren’t kidding about this area being big sky country. Wow it was cool. I think it appears bigger than ‘normal’ because you can typically see mountains in the distance and that makes you appreciate how far you are seeing. But I’m no scientologist so I have no idea how it works.  After the funcut we were treated to awesome rock formations, rising temperatures, another amazing river, towering rock walls, and just enough room for farms to squeeze into the same valley. Check out the 360 for a little taste. Today there were more wows and whoas than any other day this trip. We were in awe. It was amazing.
Something else that comes along with all that water and farm land are hella 😉 bugs.  This is in my opinion the worst part of riding. There you are bopping along, big stupid grin on your face.. then POW! It can be as minor as a pin prick or like a marble hitting you in the face. It’s jarring to say the least and always not when you expect it . And you better hope there isn’t a stinger attached to that little bastard. To us this isn’t a big deal what is a big deal is the dark passenger comes to play. This is the name we’ve come to use when a bug some how escapes exploding against our face and makes it’s way into our helmets. You can feel it’s little gross body moving across your head basically doing whatever it wants. Sometimes you can smash it against your skull by moving your helmet around. Sound gross? You’d do it.  The absolute worst type of dark passenger finds your ear. You can feel it slowly making its way towards your ear, you beg it to stop. You try not to focus on it. Try. That’s when it starts either biting or worse it tries to get into your skull. Once they get in the level of distraction is indescribable. The eye on that side of my head starts to water and that aweful tickle. Yarrr! Part of you begs for it to eat some of your poison wax so it dies and the other part of your brain is trying to keep you alive. It’s terrible. Typically I ride out this aweful experience, but yesterday’s passenger was so bad I stopped and physically killed that one.  Kat did the same today in that epic valley.  Little bastards.
Time to celebrate the day. Have an amazing weekend.